Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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