Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
