We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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