But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Don't make out with my wife yet
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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