Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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