Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
