His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
