Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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