I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
This toilet bowl is my home.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
