the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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