Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
