Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
