My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
