Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
