Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
