Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize