Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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