How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
