O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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