I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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