it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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