I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize