I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
