A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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