we have officially lost it.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
