the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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