Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I would fuck him just for his dog
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
