i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
