okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
