i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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