Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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