I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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