it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she told me i tasted like america
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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