Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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