Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
