...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
