this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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