I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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