I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
