I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
