whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
