I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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