He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
