Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
