Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
A+ Viking dick
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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