So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if only i could text you this smell
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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