I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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