He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
