Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
