I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
