remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
