i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
