margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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