Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
