What a fucking waste of an outfit
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
