I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
