"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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