I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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