I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
After tacos, we're chasing women.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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