with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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