Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize