Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I need to stop coming to work sober
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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