Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
