Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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