My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
